Today, I want to talk to you about authentic self care - an intensely personal method of self-preservation during, what is likely to be, an unprecedented phenomenon in your life. Right now, we are being steeped in fear. Every single headline and social post has become dominated by narratives about loss, conflict and suffering - I know it’s easy to get sucked in. But, each of us is responsible for protecting our mental health and spiritual wellbeing - to the best of our ability - to combat this negativity and replace it with love.
I’ll start this journey by asking, “Have you checked in with yourself today?” While I know, within our rampantly image-based, digital fishbowl of a world, looking inward can feel awkward. But, I hope your answer won’t be a knee-jerk reaction.
Can you honestly answer when the last time was you spent unadulterated time entering into peaceful conversation and mediation with your inner being? This process will look different for every spirit. But, the type of self-care I’m speaking to goes beyond the face masks, baby blue macaroons and bath bombs that dazzle with the sent of the ancient mountains they promise to immediately transport you to.
As you read this blog from the comfort of your Snuggie, hidden within your cave of cleanliness, protected by the power of Purell, I want you to check in with your mind and your spirit.
Looking inwardly isn’t about the last time you looked in the mirror to see how quickly your roots are returning to their pre-dyed state as the closed sign swings in the door of your salon. The quiet contemplation I am nudging you toward is also not about #selfisolating with clenched fists and a fresh coat as you refresh your feed to gauge how many feet you need to maintain between you and your loved ones.
To enter a deeper state of calm and escape the monotonous and stress-inducing rhetoric of today’s climate, I would encourage you to try a few of the following "exercises” or habits to address your holistic well-being.
Take 15 phone-free minutes each morning to check in with yourself: This doesn’t have to be regimented, but try to sense your emotions and establish how best to address those that are not serving your higher purpose. Think through your intention for the day; the week; or for how you hope to cope with the unknowability, confusion and physical limitations required of each of us during this shift in the universe.
One of the easiest ways to set yourself up for this quiet, reflective time is to put your phone in the other room. I can already hear the groans from those of you who swear their livelihood relies on the twinkle-tinkling of their iPhone alarm. I won’t dare suggest you buy a five dollar vintage alarm, but may I humbly recommend, at the very least, placing your alarm out of arm’s length? Just for a night, just to see how it feels…
Daily affirmations are ways to remind yourself how loved you are - and how powerful you can be as you direct yourself towards your path. For those who aren’t used to this practice, it can be difficult at first. But, sooner rather than later, the awkward exercise of seemingly complimenting yourself into a more positive state of mind can become your new normal.
Read my blog about Positive Affirmations for ideas about how to shift your frame-of-mind and remind yourself of your own positive agency amidst a time when it feels like all our options are being taken away.
Put down your self-help books and look inward, focusing on yourself. When you put a stop to the hustle and bustle of your modern mind, you will be in a better position to address and ameliorate the pain the world is feeling. It will support you to be more mindful of what you’re putting out there and address the growingly essential question: what are you feeding - fear or love?
While I refuse the tendency to overly busy yourself to avoid the reality of isolation, I would suggest - whenever your heart feels receptive to it - to stop scrolling and get creative. Draw, paint, sing, write, sit quietly and hum (if your voice will disturb even those people six feet away), pick up that long-neglected scarf you intended to knit as a gift for Christmas 2015.
Just direct your energy away from your computer, your anxiety and the documentaries that you suddenly start to see as evidence-based conspiracy theories. .
Although you are more powerful than you think, I know that these are challenging times and you may stumble on your journey towards self-care. But, I am here to help you when the noise grows too loud and you start to feel anxious. In my next blog, I’ll share a helpful meditation tool that you can use to kickstart your shift away from fear and movement towards love. I look forward to guiding you, even from a distance, because although we are apart, we are all in this together.